tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82884432024-03-07T16:52:32.990-08:00A Little zanie-nessThe musings of a brilliant mind (and a whole lot of day to day stuff that isn't quite so brilliant!)zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-25654771339973703762010-09-29T14:49:00.000-07:002010-09-29T14:51:00.348-07:00Wow!It's been a long time! Guess I'd better weigh in here, just at a later time. So much is new and so much is the same. Contradictory, sure, but still accurate.<br /><br />Will post more later.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-74477291884659338992008-11-01T07:36:00.001-07:002008-11-01T08:18:05.230-07:00NaBloPoMoToday is the first day of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">NaBloPoMo</span>, National Blog Posting Month, where you're supposed to post to your blog every day. I tried this last year and failed miserably. This year I expect will be a bit more interesting.<br /><br />I'm looking at hip replacement surgery on the 25<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span>. I'm scared to death, for several reasons, primarily because I'm afraid of the inevitable pain, secondary is what if he screws it up? I'll never be able to walk without pain again. BUT I can't walk without pain anyway and if I go any longer without the surgery, I won't be able to walk at all. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Yeahhh</span>...not really option in my book.<br /><br />Also, I'm facing a lay-off at work. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Wheeeeeee</span>!!! Now that's exciting! Can we live on one income, yes. Can we live like we have been on one income? Uh...NO! Can we buy a house on one income? Not the type of house that we should have. Sure, we can afford 1000 square feet on a 4000 square foot lot. Not really an option for us. It doesn't help that we live in an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">unbelievably</span> expensive area. <br /><br />I expect that most of my posts this month will be about one of these two topics. Sorry, not exactly <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">titillating</span> but it's my life.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-33604921205097881322008-10-29T08:32:00.000-07:002008-10-29T10:43:35.600-07:00The Omnivore's 100<br /><br />1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.<br /><br />2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.<br /><br />3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. I've put my NEVER EVER EVER items in <span style="color:#ff0000;">red </span><span style="color:#000000;">and I've <em><span style="color:#993399;"><span style="color:#000000;">Italicized</span> </span></em> what I haven't eaten yet but REALLY want to try.</span><br /><br />4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at <a href="http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/uncategorised/the-omnivores-hundred/">verygoodtaste.co.uk</a> linking to your results.<br /><br />I got 50. How about you?<br /><br /><strong>1. Venison</strong> (I was tricked into eating this but realized it was really good.)<br />2. Nettle tea<br /><strong>3. Huevos rancheros </strong>(Yummy for breakfast!)<br />4. Steak tartare<br />5. Crocodile<br />6<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_pudding">. Black pudding </a><br /><strong>7. Cheese fondue </strong>(I could live on this stuff!)<br />8. Carp<br />9. <em><span style="color:#000000;">Borscht</span></em><br />10. <em><span style="color:#000000;">Baba ghanoush</span></em><br /><strong>11. Calamari (</strong>Best served with garlic mayo!)<br /><strong>12. Pho </strong>(Divine for lunch!)<br /><strong>13. PB&J sandwich</strong><br />14. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloo_gobi"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Aloo gobi</span></em></a><br /><strong>15. Hot dog from a street cart</strong><br />16. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epoisses_(cheese)"><em>Epoisses</em></a><br /><strong>17. Black truffle</strong><br /><strong>18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes</strong><br />19. <em><span style="color:#000000;">Steamed pork buns</span></em><br /><strong>20. Pistachio ice cream</strong><br /><strong>21. Heirloom tomatoes </strong><br /><strong>22. Fresh wild berries</strong><br /><strong>23. Foie gras </strong>(who knew I'd like this???)<br /><strong>24. Rice and beans</strong><br />25. Brawn, or head cheese<br />26. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper</span><br /><strong>27. Dulce de leche</strong><br /><strong>28. Oysters </strong>(Again, who knew?)<br /><strong>29. Baklava</strong><br />30. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bagna_cauda"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Bagna cauda</span></em></a><br /><strong>31. Wasabi peas </strong>(there was a time I was addicted to these little bastards!)<br /><strong>32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl </strong>(Is there any other way to eat chowder?)<br />33. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lassi"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Salted lassi</span></em></a><br /><strong>34. Sauerkraut</strong><br /><strong>35. Root beer float</strong><br />36. <span style="color:#000000;"><em>Cognac with a fat cigar</em><br /></span>37. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clotted_cream"><em>Clotted cream tea</em></a><br /><strong>38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O </strong>(Fastest, tastiest way to get your drunk on.)<br /><strong>39. Gumbo</strong><br /><strong>40. Oxtail</strong><br />41. Curried goat<br />42. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Whole insects</span><br />43. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phaal">Phaal</a><br /><strong>44. Goat’s milk </strong>(GAG!)<br />45. <span style="color:#000000;"><em>Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more</em><br /></span>46. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fugu">Fugu</a><br /><strong>47. Chicken tikka masala</strong><br />48. Eel<br /><strong>49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut </strong>(Divine when warm, Meh when cold)<br />50. Sea urchin<br />51. Prickly pear<br />52. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umeboshi"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Umeboshi</span></em></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span>53. Abalone<br />54. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paneer"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Paneer</span></em></a><br /><strong>55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal</strong><br /><strong>56. Spaetzle </strong><br /><strong>57. Dirty gin martini</strong> (I like my martini like I like my men - FILTHY!)<br />58. Beer above 8% ABV<br /><strong>59. Poutine </strong>(Didn't know what poutine was until recently and realized I'd been eating poutine for years!)<br /><strong>60. Carob chips </strong><br /><strong>61. S’mores</strong><br />62. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetbreads"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Sweetbreads</span></em></a><br />63. Kaolin<br />64.<em><span style="color:#993399;"> </span></em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Currywurst"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Currywurst</span></em></a><br />65. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian">Durian</a><br /><strong>66. Frogs’ legs </strong>(LOVED these as a kid.)<br /><strong>67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake</strong><br />68.<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis"> Haggis</a><br /><strong>69. Fried plantain</strong><br /><strong>70. Chitterlings, or andouillette</strong><br /><strong>71. Gazpacho</strong><br />72. <span style="color:#000000;"><em>Caviar and blini</em><br />73. </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absinthe"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Louche absinthe</span></em> </a><br />74. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gjetost">Gjetost</a>, or brunost<br />75. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Roadkill</span><br />76. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baijiu">Baijiu </a><br /><strong>77. Hostess Fruit Pie</strong><br /><strong>78. Snail</strong><br />79. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapsang_souchong"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Lapsang souchong</span></em></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span>80. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellini_(cocktail)"><strong>Bellini</strong></a><br /><strong>81. Tom yum</strong><br /><strong>82. Eggs Benedict </strong>(Food of the Mother's Day gods!)<br /><strong>83. Pocky</strong><br /><span style="color:#000000;">84. <em>Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.</em><br />85. <em>Kobe beef</em></span><br /><strong>86. Hare</strong><br /><strong>87. Goulash</strong><br /><strong>88. Flowers</strong><br />89. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Horse</span><br />90. <a href="http://www.chocolate-revolution.com/beans.php"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Criollo chocolate</span></em></a><br /><strong>91. Spam </strong>(Who doesn't like Spam?)<br />92. <span style="color:#000000;"><em>Soft shell crab</em><br />93. </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harissa"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Rose harissa</span></em></a><br /><strong>94. Catfish</strong><br />95. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_poblano"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Mole poblano</span></em></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span>96. Bagel and lox<br />97. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobster_Thermidor"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Lobster Thermidor</span></em></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span><strong>98. Polenta</strong><br />99. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaican_Blue_Mountain_Coffee"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee</span></em></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span>100. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Snake </span>zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-33138483800521297312008-10-28T13:00:00.000-07:002008-10-28T13:53:33.525-07:00PimpageSo I was over at <a href="http://www.rudecactus.com/">Rude Cactus</a> and told us to promote our blogs. I thought it was a great idea and did so and now think I'd better get an update that is NOT a meme on here. Memes are the easy way to update and yet I can't even manage to do that on a regular basis. Just sad.<br /><br />I'm gearing up for my hip replacement surgery next month (I hope it's next month.) The arthritis is so bad I can barely walk and the surgeon thinks a replacement for both hips is the way to go. Actually, TWO surgeons feel the same way. I am scared about it but at the same time relieved because it means I'll get my life back. Shoot, I might even be able to walk through the mall again some day!<br /><br />To get things in order for six weeks of recovery, I have 1000 things to do at work, I have to find a walker, a rental hospital bed, a toilet seat lift, a long-handled shoe horn, a sock putter oner thingy, someone who can come help me for the entire time, lose 100 lbs, cook enough meals for an entire month…Oh dear God, there is so much to do!!<br /><br />And there are things I cannot do until after the date is scheduled. The hold-up is the surgeon’s office. They needed clearance from my PCP and then the anesthesiologist and the surgeon have to review it. Once they approve my surgery, THEN I can schedule. At this rate, it won’t be until December for surgery. Won’t THAT be a great Christmas season?!<br /><br />Gosh, this has turned out to be soooo exhilarating. Aren’t you glad I decided to update?<br /><br />Any suggestions on what I should make to put in my freezer? *crickets chirping* Hmmm, that’s right, nobody reads this blog, so basically I’m talking to myself! Okay, so I think I’ll freeze meatloaf, spaghetti sauce, lasagna, chili, salisbury steaks, and some swiss steak. At least that’s what I’ve come up with so far. I have to be careful about what I prepare because my sister has some gall bladder issues and she has to be careful about what she eats otherwise she’ll have an attack and then I’ll end up taking care of HER while she’s here taking care of me. That would be LOADS of fun.<br /><br />To wrap things up – a meme!!!<br /><br />1. 5 of your favorite kinds of candy.<br />Reese’s, Anything Godiva related, orange flavored Tootsie Pops, Sweet Tarts, Zotz<br /><br />2. 5 of your least favorite kinds of candy.<br />Blackjacks, Maryjanes, regular Tootsie Rolls…hmmm, that’s all I can come up with<br /><br />3. 5 things you plan to do for halloween.<br />Pass out candy, get the girls dressed up, host a chili cook-off, eat WAY too much chili, indulge in some hot apple cider<br /><br />4. 5 things you’ve dressed up as in the past.<br />A robot, Rubic’s Cube, Jaws, an angel, a 50’s teeny-bopper<br /><br />5. 5 things someone you know has dressed up as in the past, (they can be kids, relatives, friends, etc.)<br />a knight, a ladybug, a witch, a pregnant woman, someone who just got out of bed.<br />Happy halloween! Enjoy the rest of your day, and your weekzaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-79999547616211526092008-08-25T09:38:00.000-07:002008-08-25T09:53:36.555-07:00Meme - so sue me, they're easy!<strong>Attached or single?</strong> So very attached<br /><br /><strong>Best friend?</strong> My darling Hubby<br /><br /><strong>Cake or Pie?</strong> MMMMM...cake!<br /><br /><strong>Day of Choice?</strong> Saturday<br /><br /><strong>Essential Item?</strong> Eyeliner<br /><br /><strong>Favorite color?</strong> Purple or red<br /><br /><strong>Gummy bears or worms?</strong> Sour worms<br /><br /><strong>Hometown?</strong> Centreville, MI<br /><br /><strong>Indulgence?</strong> philosophy products and perfume<br /><br /><strong>January or July?</strong> July<br /><br /><strong>Kids?</strong> Seven ages 26, 23, 21, 20, 17, 6 and 4<br /><br /><strong>Life isn't complete</strong>...without laughter and good wine<br /><br /><strong>Marriage Date?</strong> May 31, 1997<br /><br /><strong>Number of Brothers and Sisters? </strong>Two brothers, 36 and 34; Four sisters, 39, 23, 18, 16, 12<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Oranges or Apples? </strong>Cuties clementine oranges<br /><br /><strong>Phobias?</strong> Public speaking<br /><br /><strong>Quote?</strong> Dance as if no one is watching, Sing as if no one is listening, Love like you've never been hurt before<br /><br /><strong>Reasons to Smile? </strong>My husband, my kids, weight loss<br /><br /><strong>Season of Choice?</strong> Fall, I love jeans and sweaters; leaves falling; cuddling up in a blanket.<br /><br /><strong>Unknown Fact?</strong> I am very intelligent but lack self-confidence so I appear that I don't know what I'm doing or talking about.<br /><br /><strong>Vegetable?</strong> All of them except eggplant and tomato<br /><br /><strong>Worst habits?</strong> Surfing the net and leaving my clothes on the floor<br /><br />XRay or Ultrasound? Ultrasound. I don't really like either unless for a medical necessity.<br /><br /><strong>Your favorite food? </strong>High fat food - Mom's lasagna Healthy stuff - whole wheat bread<br /><br /><strong>Zodiac sign?</strong> Leozaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-74668752900589905772008-02-18T09:52:00.000-08:002008-02-18T09:57:02.832-08:00The Meme of UsGot this from <a href="http://www.misszoot.com/">Zoot </a>and thought it would be neat to do. G and I have been VERY close lately and this is sort of a "tribute" if you will, to us.<br /><br />The Meme of Us<br /><br /><strong>How long have you been together?</strong> Let’s see…we met online in July 1996. We got married in May 1997. From the day we first met, 11 ½ years.<br /><br /><strong>How long did you date?</strong> 10 excruciatingly long months of long distance dating and sky-high phone bills.<br /><br /><strong>How old is he?</strong> A very young 51. He even got carded the other day.<br /><br /><strong>Who eats more?</strong> I think he does but I am not certain. And besides, I don't think I would admit if it was me!<br /><br /><strong>Who said ‘i love you’ first?</strong> I did but I was positive that the feelings were mutual before I said it.<br /><br /><strong>Who is taller?</strong> I am.<br /><br /><strong>Who is smarter?</strong> It depends. He’s extremely intelligent and has a couple of degrees, but I’m certainly no dummy either.<br /><br /><strong>Who does the laundry?</strong> Mostly me, but he will do it on occasion, too.<br /><br /><strong>Who does the dishes?</strong> 90% of the time, he does.<br /><br /><strong>Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?</strong> If you’re standing at the foot of the bed facing it, I do.<br /><br /><strong>Who pays the bills?</strong> I do.<br /><br /><strong>Who mows the lawn?</strong> He does, or the older kids. I used to love doing it but had a GIGANTIC breakout of hives last time I did it and have refrained for doing so since then.<br /><br /><strong>Who cooks dinner?</strong> 90% of the time it’s me.<br /><br /><strong>Who is more stubborn?</strong> In the traditional sense of the word, he is. But if I’m dead set on getting something, I will let him think he’s getting his way and then do it my way.<br /><br /><strong>Who kissed who first?</strong> Um…I’m not sure. It was pretty mutual.<br /><br /><strong>Who asked who out?</strong> We didn’t really start dating in the normal way. Okay, I did invite him to fly out and visit so I guess that would be me.<br /><br /><strong>Who proposed?</strong> Him. Son and I flew out to Seattle to visit and went out to an exquisite restaurant for dinner. Son fell asleep at the table so we finished our dinner and went home. Put Son to bed and was sitting on the couch while Hubby was getting wine and glasses. He set the glasses down, got down on one knee, opened the little drawer in the coffee table, pulled out the ring box and proposed. He said he was going to do it at the restaurant so Son could be a part of it but the little shaver fell asleep so he waited until we got home.<br /><br /><strong>Who is more sensitive?</strong> Hmmm…we are both EXTREMELY sensitive. The difference lies in how we deal with it. I wear my heart on my sleeve and you can tell immediately that I am wounded. He is more of a slow burn and shoves it away for later. You can’t tell you’ve hurt him for a little bit. I am also quick to forgive and move on where he is happy to hold his anger.<br /><br /><strong>Who has more friends?</strong> I do.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-24812813872907882782008-02-13T12:41:00.000-08:002008-02-13T13:06:25.330-08:00<a href="http://igot2babe.blogspot.com/2008/02/vent-over.html">Putting it Out There</a><br />I am copying this from <a href="http://www.igottwo.blogspot.com/">I Got Two Babe</a>, who copied it from <a href="http://www.swistle.blogspot.com/">Swistle</a>. It is a meme of sorts, but I think it is more like Anonymous Therapy. Just write a list of the things you wish you had said but didn't. No backstory or names needed.<br /><br />1. I should have NEVER EVER told you. We would have been fine on our own.<br /><br />2. I wish you hadn't been there when I found out. I didn't get a chance to process before you decided we had to tell the whole damn family.<br /><br />3. I'm so sorry that happened between us. Part of the reason I am so fat is because I don't feel worthy of a happy life because of this. I know I've apologized before but I don't think you underdstand the depth of my remorse.<br /><br />4. I was in a vulnerable spot and you played me like a violin. I worshiped you and believed you when you said you loved me. You just like the stroke it gave your ego!<br /><br />5. I wish I'd had the guts to pick up that dead snake and shove it in your face.<br /><br />6. Yes, I know you had MANY MANY affairs. We were young, we weren't stupid.<br /><br />7. And yes, I know you had an affair, too. Do you really think I believed you were in counseling?<br /><br />8. I'm sorry I wasn't there to take care of you. You gave me so much and taught me everything I needed to know in life. If I had the ability to do it all again, I would have dropped everything to be there for you.<br /><br />9. Many of my beliefs about men were formed from my relationship with you. Thank you for being that kind of man.<br /><br />10. I know you weren't perfect when you were younger but you were perfect in my eyes; both of you.<br /><br />11. I refuse to allow you to walk all over me. It's how I was raised but not how I live my life anymore.<br /><br />12. We were close friends but things have changed. I don't want to be your friend anymore. You aren't good for me or my self esteem. You were there when I needed you to be but I have grown and am moving on. <br /><br />13. You made my marriage a living HELL for 8 years. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am that you aren't part of my life anymore.<br /><br />14. All I wanted was another serving of lasagna. You couldn't even do that for me? They call it bedrest for a reason and this one involved the possible death of me and the baby!<br /><br />15. I am not a booty call. If you can't respect me as a woman/partner, we're through.<br /><br />16. I know you're still battling those demons, no matter how affronted you act when I tell you to stop.<br /><br />17. I was a child and I worshipped you. You both are responsible for so many bad things that have happened in my life. I have moved on, but you need to be adults and take responsibility for your actions.<br /><br />Gosh, I could go on forever with this but need to be done. I may revisit this again.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-51194655399114633182007-11-06T09:25:00.000-08:002007-11-06T09:33:14.995-08:00Exhausted!<p>Oh dear God in Heaven! G had better hurry home! I cannot sleep without him in the bed. I tossed and turned all night long! I was awake every hour and it seemed like just when I fell asleep, I would roll over and toss my arm toward where he is supposed to be and jolt awake because he wasn’t there.<br /><br />The good part of that is that I woke up at about 6:45 and in a total panic because my alarm was supposed to go off. Nope. Apparently when I shut G’s alarm off last night, it shut mine off as well. Stupid clock radio/ipod docking station/impossible to operate thingy! We’ve had it for almost a year and apparently I still don’t know how to make it work.<br /><br />On the up side, the girls were really well behaved. After we got home from dinner, it was about 7:15. We had to haul the trash out to the curb for pickup today. Baby Girl helped with emptying the bathroom waste cans and I hauled it out to the curb. Then, Baby Girl had homework so she sat in the kitchen and did it while I logged on and updated my blog. Lil Sis got her jammies on and hauled her Dora chair into the office so she could sit by me.<br /><br />Baby Girl finished her homework and got her jammies on, too. They both climbed into my big arm chair in the office and sat and “read” books and some of my cooking magazines for about an hour. They were on their way to bed when G called so they got to talk to Daddy for a few minutes and then went straight to bed with no issues whatsoever.<br /><br />It makes it much easier to care for them when they aren’t being goobers. Baby Girl hasn’t been causing problems in school and seems to be evening out emotionally. I’m pleased for that but it isn’t going to last long as Biomom will be setting up visits here in the near future. Good thing Baby Girl’s counseling starts on Thursday.<br /><br />Holy crap am I tired. Not sure how I’m going to function today but I think I should probably make a concerted effort.</p><br /><p></p><br /><p>p.s. The car still kicks ASS! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJKSZW0LxQh39UUu2jREpxzRGO_DOqxbnUGe4iyCp1z9shyphenhyphenbWJTE6O7SNZzDA1QHrtCybQSPRjNDBJjkEHQrXekTtkAN0OAiAEmvaqMnIelCMz3hjVnBbpLTKH96dH2k7kbfG5/s1600-h/impala.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129781509641585298" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJKSZW0LxQh39UUu2jREpxzRGO_DOqxbnUGe4iyCp1z9shyphenhyphenbWJTE6O7SNZzDA1QHrtCybQSPRjNDBJjkEHQrXekTtkAN0OAiAEmvaqMnIelCMz3hjVnBbpLTKH96dH2k7kbfG5/s320/impala.jpg" border="0" /></a></p>zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-67870443603592793982007-11-05T20:13:00.000-08:002007-11-05T20:28:19.993-08:00Business trips and more car awesome-nessOkay, so I know that heated seats are nothing new to the rest of the world but DAMN! are they ever awesome!!!!! I was looking for the rear window defrost button and pushed what I thought was the right button. Nope! Instantly my butt got warm and shortly thereafter the lumbar support toasted right up. I had no idea what I was missing but man am I going to miss this car when we have to return it! <br /><br />I'm still amazed by the sheer power that this thing has, although it's pretty moot when you can't go any faster than 35 on the fliggin' freeway. Maybe it's just knowing that I have the power that should be sufficient but boy I'd like to take this baby out and open it up without fear of a speeding ticket!<br /><br />In other news, G is gone on his business trip until late Wednesday night. I had a menu planned out for the week, as I've been doing for the past month. Yeah...that went right out the window the second I realized that I was totally responsible for getting dinner for Baby Girl and Lil Sis and I. I decided that we would go out instead and we headed to Red Robin for tasty goodness and all the steak fries you can eat.<br /><br />One thing that was kind of neat: I ordered a salad to share between the three of us. I think I got about two bites because Baby Girl and Lil Sis kept eating it. Yay! They wanted to eat salad rather than eat chicken fingers and fries or pepperoni pizza. Next time I'll get them a salad to split and get one of my own as well.<br /><br />Seems the whole "eating good things" that we've been practicing has paid off!<br /><br />Bummed: Not looking forward to sleeping alone for the next couple of nights. Not only is it lonely, but G also provides a good amount of body heat so I'll likely be cold all night long. Gotta haul out the extra blanket.<br /><br />Pleased: I can watch whatever I want on TV AND control the remote!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-48019832059027904512007-11-04T14:15:00.000-08:002007-11-05T20:13:42.524-08:00Whew!Okay, good news! G got me a car. And holy crap did he EVER! It's a 2008 Impala SS. The damn car has a V-8 in it! I went from 0 to 60 in about 3 seconds on the freeway on-ramp! It's fantastic! And you know how cars with big engines have that rumble in them? Yeah, it's just that awesome!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-90747710281484507952007-11-04T11:25:00.000-08:002007-11-05T20:10:56.234-08:00Sunday CrazyAhhhhhh! We're running full tilt around here. Ravioli's birthday was on Halloween and we're celebrating today. So we have 3 of the 4 adult kids coming for dinner at 1:00 and we can't find the veal shanks we need to make osso bucco. I'm disappointed but am pleased that we'll get to have the lamb dinner that I wanted to have anyway. <br /><br />That's only part of the crunch. The transmission dropped in my Acura and G is getting ready to leave on a business trip. That's okay except that I can't use his little truck to get the girls to daycare and then me to work. There's not enough room for two car seats and one large woman. Not gonna work. <br /><br />So...we're running trying to get a rental car, get all of the ingredients for the lamb dinner and get things ready.<br /><br />Gah!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-26695672780127479272007-11-04T08:12:00.000-08:002007-11-04T08:12:58.487-08:00!@#$%^& CarWell, the transmission is officially out of the car. The money we'll have to spend to fix this to runnable condition will eat up the downpayment for my new car that we're supposed to buy next month.<br /><br />PISSED!!!!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-80933771037958224602007-11-02T08:07:00.000-07:002007-11-04T08:07:39.961-08:00Halloween OverdriveBoy, I sure do wish people would give healthier treats. Both little girls got full-sized candy bars in their buckets this year. Tootsie Rolls and Butterfingers and Baby Ruths. One house even gave them mini cans of Jones Soda. <br /><br />It has all been removed from their possession because apparently 4-year old + candy=sneaky, lying child. Yuck. Twice in the span of an hour, Lil Sis lied about the candy she had eaten or was trying to eat. Not a very good scenario. Besides, a little girl this tiny doesn't need candy. We need to pack as much nutrition into her as possible. Candy fills up that spot where the good stuff should be.<br /><br />Baby Girl is a little more well-behaved over the whole candy issue, but will sneak and lie about it too. It's just terrible! <br /><br />I know, I know, kids LOVE candy and act the fool over it, but this just seems to go to a different level. Before Lil Sis came to us, she subsisted mainly on candy and junk. BioMom thought nothing of dropping $20 on candy bars and gum several times a week, hence the reason Lil Sis is such a fiend.<br /><br />I wonder if anyone will notice if I eat all their good stuff...zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-38677017733765356782007-11-01T07:42:00.000-07:002007-11-04T07:54:15.591-08:00NaBloPoMoOkay, so I was going to do NaNoWriMo this year but can't even manage to find quite time to READ a book, let alone write one, so I thought this might be a good alternative. We'll see how well this turns out.<br /><br />Work has been really crappy lately. Word of advice: don't become best friends with your supervisor. It makes for a really hard, awkward situation if some sort of disciplinary action is needed, and I don't mean a weeks suspension or anything like that. It also makes it hard when you need your friend in the middle of the day. It's not like you can sneak a call to her without your boss knowing because she IS the boss.<br /><br />I've been pondering how to disengage because this friendship just isn't working for me. A friend is someone that you can feel good about, that lifts you up, that will listen to you as much as you listen to her. That's just not working for us anymore. I don't want to do things with her, I don't want to invite them over for dinner or go out to brunch with them, I don't want to be around her.<br /><br />We are still very similar but we've grown in two different directions. I don't want to go in her direction. I am happy going in the direction I have now taken. It makes me sad.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-89971861215324821022007-09-18T12:39:00.000-07:002007-09-18T12:54:03.289-07:00Wow!I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. I have intended to post regularly but life came at me so quickly this past year that I had to devote my time to bobbing and weaving to avoid the inevitable punches.<br /><br />I am so tired lately. I love my girls but boy oh boy do I need an adult weekend. One where I am only me, not Nana. One where I only have to worry about what I am going to wear and what I am going to do. One where only I get the attention of G, without little ones pushing their way into our embrace. <br /><br />I need to have G know that I am tired of coming last. The other night we were cuddling on the couch and Baby Girl came in. He immediately called her over and wanted to include her in the hug. Not a big deal except that there is never Z & G time anymore. I think he forgot that I am still a woman with needs and wants or that he needs to give me attention. <br /><br />I have told him point blank that I need these things but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I think he feels that I'm being demanding. In a way, I AM being demanding. I demand to be treated as your wife, not just the caretaker of your children. <br /><br />Ah ha! that last sentence moved the energy. The only problem is how to convey this to him so he'll listen. THAT is the question of the day.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1162656862654297742006-11-04T08:10:00.000-08:002006-11-04T08:14:22.673-08:00Rage!I’m just going to sit here and type today because I don't know what direction this will take. The words are pressing to get out and I couldn't find a pen to put it in my journal. This medium is my second choice but seems to be the most expedient delivery system.<br /><br />I have been going through my affirmation cards and the cards on forgiveness of our families and moving past old hurts are really striking chords with me today, although not the chords that were meant to be struck. Today, the little girl is PISSED! She is stomping her foot and yelling and being truculent. She doesn’t want to move past the hurts, dammit! She wants someone to be accountable for the bullshit in her childhood. She wants her parents to step up and BE her parents. So they, themselves were victims of their childhood, SO THE FUCK WHAT! Grow up, stop hitting your children, and move the fuck on! I have to grow up and be an adult and accept that the damage caused is not mine to perpetuate, why don’t they?<br /><br />I don’t want to be accepting and loving. I don’t want to look at my parents as children that need to be healed. I want to rage against them. I want to throw things at them. I want to tell them that they’re assholes and that by hitting us (or allowing us to be hit) or denigrating us or teasing us, they have created HUGE, DEEP, THICK wounds that have turned keloid. <br /><br />As usual, just typing that has moved me beyond to where I can think clearly. I may continue to write, but I don’t want it to be forced.<br /><br />In a perfect world, I would be able to look back, pity them and their situations, and forgive. Hell, in a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to do that because I wouldn’t be this damaged adult trying to protect and hide the little girl inside. <br /><br />I resent that I have to wrestle with this. I resent that I have to deal with this at 37 years of age. I am hurt; so hurt that words cannot express it. The kind of hurt that builds pressure in your chest until you think you will explode with it.<br /><br />I am tired of fighting this fight.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1162184566084433522006-10-29T21:00:00.000-08:002006-10-29T21:05:01.763-08:00Moving in the right direction, Day 6So, I thought I was on a roll with posting and journaling but one rotten day threw me off. Since then things have gotten better at work. M and I talked things through more and everything is okay between D and I as well.<br /><br />I have discovered that I am working my butt off at the office and yet I love my job! The harder I work, the more I like it. Is it because I am working for my friend? I’m sure that’s part of it, but I loved it before M and I became close. My guess is that I am getting the recognition that I have deserved for a long time. Even the mayor is impressed with my work and tells me so. That goes a long way for me! And it seems to have moved beyond the whole “I need someone to tell me how great I am.” at least to degree. I mean, at first it was a huge ego boost to be told how smart/intelligent/vastly underutilized I had obviously been, and it still is, but eventually I started to believe it and now work at that level every day. I believe the psychological term for that is self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever it’s called, I have decided to embrace it whole-heartedly.<br /><br />I just purchased two sets of affirmation cards from Louise Hay on Amazon.com. I’m going to get some plain frames from Ikea and hang them in individual frames and make a montage on the wall in MY office (G can have space here but this is MY room.) They will hang there and remind me on a daily basis to nurture myself and take care of myself and tell myself good things. I will have a lovely round mirror hanging opposite the montage to reflect the positive thoughts. I also went to Crystal Voyage by Freighthouse Square and purchased a “Wise Woman” statue. She is standing with her arms circled over her head and has the tree of life on her gown/body. It is beautiful and EXACTLY what I was looking for in my room. Now the hard part has to happen: moving the furniture and painting the wall. Still haven’t gotten the paint yet but have definitely decided on a color: thistle.<br /><br />Went to a FABULOUS restaurant yesterday, Il Fiasco on 6th Avenue. Had a delicious meal of Duck breast with black currant glaze served with roasted chestnut ravioli. It was a bit of a stretch for me as I like to kind of stay toward the things that I know I like, but the duck was to die for and the ravioli was sublime! We finished dinner off with a chocolate roulade; a thin chocolate cake with a chocolate cream/black currant filling, rolled up jelly roll-style. It was heavenly and I wasn’t stuffed. Always a nice feeling after a great dinner.<br /><br />Mmmm…dinner is in the oven. Roasted chicken with baby red potatoes and cauliflower. Should be another one of G’s divine meals!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1161917561499484362006-10-26T19:34:00.000-07:002006-10-26T19:52:41.513-07:00Day 3 a.k.a. Major suckage galoreStarted out with a low grade headache. Got to work and didn't really want to be there at all, but I persevered. I noticed that M had a list of "missing" permit numbers on her whiteboard. I copied them down and was going to look up the list when D, the permit tech, saw what I had and promptly took the list from me. He wanted to do it himself. He was instantly in an uproar and nothing I could say would coerce him to just let me do what I was going to do.<br /><br />M got to work and brought me a latte - YUM! - which I managed to have a single drink of before dumping it into my keyboard, drowning my mouse, and flooding the floor with it, splattering my purse as well. (note to self: get leather cleaner) I spent an hour and a half trying to clean up a grande latte and salvage my keyboard and mouse, to no avail, and cleaning the floor mat under my chair, wipe out my one and only drawer, and my purse. It was great. :-(<br /><br />M wanted to meet with D and I to let us know she wanted a system in place to alleviate missing permit numbers. D went off like a rocket and started carrying on about how he knew where everything was and how nothing was missing because he knew where things were, etc. <br /><br />To my ears he then started throwing me under the bus saying I was the reason there were errors and duplicate numbers and inaccurate reports. I started getting upset and kept my tongue, for the most part. When he started martyring himself, I spoke up and said that <em>I </em>was the one that had copied down the number so <em>I </em>could do the work myself. M told D to stop with his defensiveness, told me to stop playing the victim (which infuriated me because that was not at all what I was doing) and told us what had to be done, period. The meeting ended and D went one way, I went the other and M closed her door.<br /><br />D said, "Amy, I don't know what I said to upset you so much but I'm sorry." I told him I didn't want to talk about it at that time and walked away.<br /><br />I left for a few minutes (it was at the end of the lunch hour) and when I got back D was in M's office with her, venting. After he was done, I went in and talked to her. I told her I wasn't playing vicitm, just trying to tell him I wasn't expecting him to do the work, that I would gladly do so, and he had no reason to be so upset. She said I sounded like a 4 yr old when I said it, very victim-like, as did D when he was talking about his things. I didn't realize I sounded like that and apologized to her for the drama.<br /><br />I also apologized to D for it as well. <br /><br />I felt like he was telling me I wasn't good enough. he was more than happy to point out the errors I had made and allow M to think it was me who made the majority of them. <br /><br />My blood pressure was through the roof. Not a good thing as then I couldn't work for the rest of the afternoon, well, at least not effectively.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1161795344675459052006-10-25T09:43:00.000-07:002006-10-25T10:11:37.736-07:00Heartache, headache, nausea a.k.a. Day 2I don't feel good. I didn't go to work. I don't want to do anything other than sleep but I know it will make my head feel worse. I have been awake off and on since 3:30 this morning. I am exhausted. I have tons of stuff to do at work and I should be there.<br /><br />I had a sausage croissant this morning for breakfast. it is now sitting in my stomach like a greasy rock, threatening to revisit me. So why do I want another? Probably because G and I are going 'round and 'round again. Let's see if I can sum this up without too many details: M is my boss and we are also very good friends. I make a very concerted effort to be an employee during the work day and not spend time talking and etc. After 5, M and I sit and talk like friends do. Last evening we talked about books, bikes, kids, airplane tickets for Wee G, and her brother in law that told his 18 yr old girlfriend to get an abortion if she wanted to stay with him.<br /><br />We have been doing this for several weeks. G usually calls to see when I'm coming home. He said he tried to call the office last night and I didn't answer his call. He tried my cell and I didn't hear it ring because it was in my purse under my desk. This apparently hugely tweaked the whole distrust thing because he is now just barely civil to me, even after apologies and promises to call and let him know when I will be home and what I'm doing.<br /><br />I know he's revisiting last November and I can't blame him for feeling that way but the cold-shoulder is very frustrating. I called him at work this a.m. to let him know I was staying home and it was all he could do to grunt a reply. I will not tip-toe around. I have apologized for being inconsiderate, I made a great dinner, and I've reassured him that I love him. I cannot do anything more. I am a human and I make mistakes.<br /><br />The problem is that I enjoy having M as a friend but she is very much like me: on the weekends, her time belongs to her family and honestly, I feel like I'm intruding if I call and talk to her or ask her to do something. That limits the time we can spend doing friend-type things. Truthfully, I don't think G understands what a close friendship is like and he is jealous of the time I spend with M. I don't know. I just know I'm getting spanked for spending time with a friend. No, that's not true. I'm getting spanked because I repeatedly spent time with M after work and didn't let G know when I would be home. <br /><br />Either way, I am tired of thinking about it. I'm going back to bed.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1161720052755810952006-10-24T12:36:00.000-07:002006-10-24T13:07:40.233-07:00Day 1 of the rest of my lifeOkay, with the help of my counselor, I’ve decided to make this space my place to keep track of what I eat and when, as well as my exercise and methods to find my true self. Since my only viewing audience is my counselor (Hi Kathy!) I’ll not try so hard to bring on the funny, but rather to write from a place of integrity. If I feel funny, I’ll be funny and if I feel sad, I’ll be sad.<br /><br />So, the morning started off with an inauspicious breakfast: a piece of chocolate cake with bittersweet chocolate ganache “icing”. Not the healthiest breakfast, by any stretch of the definition. Now I’m drinking a mug of French vanilla hot chocolate. I should probably eat a cheese stick to even out the carbs with some protein and a little fat so I don’t end up scattered and spacey from too much sugar. I brought an apple as well but I think I’ll have that with lunch.<br /><br />I can’t wait for lunch as I brought a salad I got at Trader Joes. It’s on a bed of greens and has walnuts, red peppers, and a leaf of endive filled with herbed goat cheese with vinaigrette dressing. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Maybe instead of thinking about it, I should focus on working. Nah…<br /><br />After the 14 mile ride on Sunday, my butt bones are finally recovering. I’m struggling to move today but the Advil hasn’t kicked in yet. I would like to ride again today but I’m not so keen on the hills in our neighborhood and really, by the time we get home, it’s almost dark. I’m all about exercising but I’m not really keen on being a moving target in the dark. Maybe I can get Gman to move the treadmill so I can use that. He said he would if I promised to walk on it. I promised but it hasn’t moved.<br /><br />Hmmm…it’s Tuesday. I wonder if the surplus store got any laptops in…<br /><br />Later...<br /><br />So I'm eating the salad and while it's not as good as I had hoped, it is pretty good. The goat cheese is a little too strong for my taste. I will eat it because that's about all I have to eat for lunch today, but I don't think I'll buy it again. I'll have my cheese stick and my apple and call it good.<br /><br />I think for dinner I'll make the Buca di Beppo Lemon Chicken. It looks easy and I bet it would be tasty over a bed of angel hair pasta. Maybe some sort of veggie other than salad would be good, too. I'm rather saladed out. We've had it for three days now and as much as I like the champagne dressing with the honey glazed almonds, I'm tired of it. Maybe some green beans with toasted slivered almonds....mmmmm that's the plan.<br /><br />Maybe I should walk on my lunch hour. I just don't want to work up a sweat during that hour and then have to come back to work and be all sweaty and possibly stinky. Not a good look for me. Maybe M would want to walk with me. I bet she would because she's a big cheerleader for me. I'll ask her this afternoon when she gets back from her meeting.<br /><br />I cannot decide on a paint color for my room. G bought me a computer program where you can upload a picture of the room you want to paint and "test" the paint colors in there. I thought I had decided on a color until he brought that home. Now, I have to decide from about 12 different colors that I really like ranging in hue from Burnt Plum to a pretty shade of purple. I want to go with purple but I'm really partial to burgandys and plums. I just think if I don't go with the purple, I will regret it because when will I have another opportunity to paint a room that color? I do want to get it in gear though because I want to get it done and have my own space. How fun would that be??! I have a lamp picked out and I'm searching for other things to accessorize. I want to go with purples and reds and other jewel tones. Well, I guess that decides the paint color, doesn't it...zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1141837514173632112006-03-08T08:56:00.000-08:002006-03-08T09:05:14.220-08:00Quote of the DayNo act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.<br />Aesop<br /><br />This is so true, but why is it that when someone is kind, on a repeated basis, they are treated so poorly? Why do people view them as doormats to be walked on?<br /><br />I am at the point where I don't want to help anymore because of the way people view me. I am tired of being used and abused. It is time to take care of me.<br /><br />And surprise! People are resisting that effort. They are so used to me taking care of everyone else that the concept of me taking care of me is foreign.<br /><br />Bottom line: I am tired. I hurt. I need to take care of me in order to be a better mother, wife, and person in general. I have taken steps to take care of me and it has not been an easy task. I have had to claw my way out of there. Yes, I know it sounds melodramatic but when someone fights you on every step, it feels like clawing.<br /><br />I hope this process gets easier but somehow, I don't see that happening.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1139351635753880952006-02-07T14:30:00.000-08:002006-02-07T14:33:55.763-08:00Best Refs Pittsburgh's Money can buy!Okay, you may say "sour grapes" because I'm a Hawk's fan and they didn't win, but COME ON! If the same plays that were called against Seattle were called against Pittsburgh, Seattle would have been the victor in the Superbowl. I mean really...zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1136493319897419802006-01-05T12:34:00.000-08:002006-01-05T12:35:19.910-08:00Best Blonde Joke EVER!!!You HAVE to check out this <a href="http://j-walkblog.com/index.php?/weblog/posts/blond_joke/">blonde joke</a>! It's the BEST!!!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1133540427911814672005-12-02T08:14:00.000-08:002005-12-02T08:20:27.923-08:00SNOW!Got over 2" of snow last night! Wee G was out playing in it by 6:15 a.m. Funny how he can't get out of bed for school but has no trouble getting up to play in the snow. I guess he has his priorities in order :-)<br /><br />Baby Girl and Lil Sis are at daycare but Baby Girl was NOT happy that she didn't get to go out and play in the snow too. I told her we would build a snowman when we got home, IF there was any snow left. That seemed to placate her for the moment.<br /><br />I was hoping the snow fairy would REALLY bless the freeway so I couldn't get into work...no such luck. Drove 65 mph all the way into town. Blah. I wanted to stay home. It's one of those stay-at-home-curled-up-in-a-blanket-with-a-mug-of-cocoa-and-a-good-book kind of days. But no! I'm now having one of those sit-at-my-desk-freezing-my-ass-off.zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8288443.post-1124318421837462752005-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:002005-08-18T17:01:02.273-07:00Reasons Why I Love My HusbandI’ve been noticing small things that G-man has been doing lately that just prove how much he really does love me.<br /><br />1. He deadbolts the door when he leaves, even if he knows that I will be leaving shortly behind him. (This has been discussed by <a href="http://sothefishsaid.com">Beth</a>. Check her out!)<br />2. On the calendar, he wrote “My honey’s birthday” on my day.<br />3. He bought the ingredients for a new drink that I had when we went out, because he knew I liked it.<br />4. He picks up my dirty clothes that I leave on the floor on occasion and rarely complains about it.<br />5. He tolerates my beast of a dog even though he’d rather drop kick him into next week.<br />6. He cooks over half the time.<br />7. He tolerates my social welfare project, a.k.a. TeenMom.<br />8. He is a neatnick and I am a slob but he tolerates my messiness – to a point.<br />9. He lets me take the good car because it's safer, even though he would much rather have it because it has a kick-ass stereo in it.<br />10. He always moves out of the brand new recliner when I come in to sit down because he knows the couches make my back hurt.<br />11. He helps with the little girls and rarely complains about it.<br /><br />I could keep going but I think you get my point. I love him and I am so proud to be his wife. Thanks for 8 great years, Baby!zaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05013843160431063964noreply@blogger.com3